A Crumb a Day to Keep the Guards Away

Authorities were informed today that a maximum security prisoner escaped from Long Bay Jail Hospital earlier this morning.

Robert Cole was convicted for armed robbery and an attempt to abduct with commit carnal knowledge.

The prisoner deliberately lost weight in the weeks preceding the escape, and had been scraping away the bricks surrounding the prison bars.

Security guards at the prison were under the illusion that the criminal was losing weight with ambitions to make a comeback as a hurdle jockey.

Cole managed to avoid the security cameras and detection systems at the prison, climb a fence and escape.

Police have called in a private investigator to privately investigate the matter; former senior police officer Bob Inskter.

Known as 'The Snake,' Inkster was also recently appointed chairman of the NSW Tow Truck Authority. The Snake's plan is to tow the criminals car before charging him ridiculously.