Dokic Hooks up eBay Family

Sources confirm that former world number four tennis player Jelena Dokic has looked to eBay for a new Father.

Dokic, who has ended relations with her biological father Damir, opened the bidding yesterday.

'Basically I'm offering myself as a daughter to someone who can take care of me, make my decisions for me, and contest all the umpires' calls against me,' Jelena told the Far Side.

'I think having a real Aussie dad will help the Australian people accept me again,' she added.

Dokic denies ever denouncing Australia, and believes Damir won't miss her.

'He's got his own auction out at the moment; a bit of revenge I guess,' tells Dokic.

Damir is auctioning himself as 'One (1x) Father suitable for pushover tennis-playing female.'

The winning bid is currently held by former Home and Away star Bec Cartwright. She is believed to be purchasing Damir as a Valentine's Day gift for husband and failing tennis 'come on-er', Lleyton Hewitt.

Ah eBay... Nowhere else but a Church fair could you sell your soul and everything else you own.